Old self and healthy body

Tonight as I have been lying in the hospital bed I've looked at my bruised arms from IVs, the rash on my arms, the medical bands on my wrist and my giant belly... Ive been looking at my life right now... i cant work, i can barely go for long walks, its hard fi climb stairs, I'm jn some sort of Pain all the time...i dont like It. With that I've been thinking of the "old Mandy" who was in shape, healthy, had cute hair, could wear contacts & make up and looked pretty good. I could be spontaneous, I could work, I could run... I could do what I wanted... I miss that. I miss healthy Mandy. I'm not the biggest fan of RA, AI, Diabetic Mandy.  I feel like I could be a cousin to Jobba The Hut. I wonder what lies ahead and hope things can/will change....

In hospital bed tonight July 7, 2013

- At a restaurant  June 30, 2009