Ups & downs

While I know I have said this before but I really hate RA. I do. Theses past few days have been hard and I have been pretty down. Yes, I am back at work - I love my class and job, yes things have been ok lately too but I have a nasty disease, two in fact. I've been thinking lately- this is my life?this is how I'm going to be? But I can't, it's too hard and I'm so tired of it, I really am.  The thoughts that every month I have to feel super shitty and then get an IV of meds-  it's not cool. I've had the the thoughts I can't live on my own, I can't take care of my dogs, I can't cook for myself... I can't!! I hate RA. I miss my independence  . I miss all the things RA has taken from me. It makes me sad. I know, that after a few crappy days I should feel better, it still doesn't make these days any easier. Well, gotta love the ups and downs.